And I just got to know

We can be friends (Click here)
Google me? HAHA miao

History and the Tagbox’s all the way at the bottom. Anyone sweet enough to teach me basic html or how to use dreamweeaver? Have a nice day stalkers :)

SUZANA WHO?
Hi there little boys and girls, today we are gonna learn how to poison squirrels. But first, I’d like you to meet my friend Suzana ; Stranger

Monday, September 26, 2016 @ 2:31 AM

Viscoelastic

If it is deemed to be insuperable,
And there is no escape,
Because you cannot control everything,
All you need is that factor;
Or being or motivation or distraction
To be endowed with the the power of viscoelasticty

Labels: distraction, exercise, melting, motivation

Tuesday, September 20, 2016 @ 2:29 AM

Sign to Mandarin

Learning a language is a commitment man. When there were performance trainings on top of the weekly classes after lessons, it was long and draggy and you just can't wait to go home to rest. The first time I used sign language in public, it was the most uncomfortable conversation ever. The stares, the eagerness to get a message across, the advanced speakers of sign language going on about a story that was 50% blur.

This arduous phase, with tolerance and determination, will be better.

2.0 Mandarin

Its grammar and sentence structure is slightly similar to Malay. I swear I can't differentiate between the second and third tone when practiced in a genuine conversation. Just like sign language, there will be the fluent speakers who may correct or laugh at you. Either way, these mini experiences is most important as what is taught on paper and audio is vastly different from native speakers' slang. I came across a few instances of random numbers in between words. Chinese culture is foreign yet familiar. For example: Kan yi kan

Wei shen me like that??????

Labels: adventure, Heels hurt :'), language, Makan, My bag was effing huge.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016 @ 11:51 AM

3 Days, half a meal

Day 1 I released 1.5 litrrs worth of hot vomit
This was the end of the pain and torture
Or so I thought

Maybe now that my stomach is empty
There will be a demand for food consumption
Or so I thought

My mother handed me some pills
To ensure that the bacteria will not win
Or so she thought

This is where I had to have my first meal
Fine, for the good of my body
I haven't done anything for the past few days
5 table spoons of creamy chicken soup

Day 2 I ended my sleep at 3pm
Wow 12 hours of rest; I must be refreshed!
Or so I thought

The headache became a migraine
Why not get it done and just pop in 3 more pills?
Or so I thought

On my left was a full plate since morning
My favourites; apples, crab, corn and rice
Or so I thought

With the 1% strength I had
Brushed my teeth, splashed my face
It will be a better day today
2 tablespoons of corn, 1 tablespoon of crab, half cup milo

Day 3 took me decades
The past 10 hours of nothingness killed my brain
Or so I thought

Still aware still conscious
Maybe dramas will kill the time
Or so I thought

Oh I felt what a dying man felt
If I wrote down my thoughts it'll distract me
Or so I thought

None of those worked until I grabbed my ukulele
With its body on mine, the vibration of the strings was soothing
I could even rap all the verses of Not Afraid
Everybody, come take my hand as I swallowed 5 full spoons of rice

Yes, my tolerance and strength is finally growing
Or so I thought

Saturday, September 10, 2016 @ 2:40 AM

Constructive reflection

People around me would easily point out that I worry easily on the simplest of things like forever loosing something (probably there's a post about it). But we all do it. It may be the misplace meant of the ezlink card, the future, the past, the unknown. The questions that we ask in our heads are subconsciously filling our minds with either negative or positive energy. And we are the ones in control of it alongside with the flow of fate. Our situation may seem to be in a disaster or we may seem too lost to move forward and that is absolutely normal. In fact, it is healthy to worry in order for us to make calculated risks and rational decisions. However, what we say to ourselves can either sabotage or be to our advantage. For the last semester, I've been attentive to the thoughts I carried around with me.

Some of them were: Wtf where is it? What's wrong with ne? Why am I so lazy?

These specific thoughts are focusing on the problem and not the solution. When I ask, what's wrong with me, the answers I create is a list of wrongdoings and reasons why I'm a klutz/ embarrassment. Instead, it would be different if the same thoughts were tweaked to Why did I instinctively react in a certain way? Have this been ongoing? The answers in my head would take some time to be produced because it requires a level deeper of investigation. The change in questions will affect our day, and future occurrences as we have a greater level of self awareness and this is called constructive reflection.

Observe your daily thoughts, jot it down if you think you'd not be able to remember them. Today onwards, your self-awareness level increases.

Friday, September 9, 2016 @ 1:35 AM

Wicked in 2016

If I watched the same play 5 years difference in time, how different would I react? Will i have the same reactions and feelings? Will it be enhanced or will it be ruined because I've anticipated it? Either way, I really wanna watch Wicked again and make a proper review on it.

Here is the post-Wicked blogpost back in 2011:
Wicked/2011

Wednesday, September 7, 2016 @ 2:41 AM

Storytime 1: Unkind

Teaching primary school students was something recent for me and boy, was it always an interesting time.

Unkind

As the kids were recalling a recent conflict they faced, two girls started giggling. I walked to their tables and leaned in to check if they had written it down on the booklet- and they did. "What's so funny ladies?" I planted myself on a chair to prepare to listen to their stories. They kept giggling and showed me what they've written down. "How about I hear it from you, Keela?" As she adjusted her ombré spectacles frame, I wondered if the school even allowed it. Without gathering herself, she started her story with her boring day after school. With nothing much to do, she whatsapped the girl she was sitting next to. Both of them smiled and glanced at each other. Apparently at the time, Joycelyn was watching a YouTube video and the message notifications were distracting. Keela pressed on to get her friend's attention. "And then, she finally replied me: Stop it" Keela stated. It seems like she wasn't continuing her story, thus I probed, "And what else?". Keela giggled, "and that made me upset". I thought I was missing something, "Sorry I missed it, what did she say?" I asked. "She whatsapped me: Stop it. It was an unkind word". My heart jumped with surprise. It was my job to remain collected and professional but deep down I was rolling in tears of laughter. Turning to her friend, I asked, "Is that true, Joycelyn?". She nodded her head and pointed to the empty box at the end of the page. "So now, let's write down: Next time, I will.." I instructed and watched as they inked the box. It did not take them long to find a replacement phrase. They presented their answers to each other before showing it to me. They both wrote, "Next time, I will say 'Please stop it',".

Labels: Storytime

Sunday, September 4, 2016 @ 1:46 AM

Attachment

Today I revisited a weekly go-to place where we can vent, dance and sing for a few hours and enjoying a common sport at the same time. Do people actually attach themselves to places too? The walls have not tasted a new coat, the suffering aircon still leaks and shuts down once in a while, the bloody mattress still catches me even when it's weak and torn. The rocks felt equally sharp, I left with at least one contusion, we joked about being uncareful when belaying and our blasting phones were placed at the same mat as we danced our way up. We no longer text every single day to express our excitement for that week's Wednesday- that was the most exciting part. This was another short phase to show us that things happen for a reason, even if they aren't logical. We may try to make sense to it or give excuses for the people who aren't in our lives anymore or beat ourselves everyday to give ourselves closure. It's just that we took it for granted and looked at it as a joke when we said caring words and promises and WA so certain that the person that you fully trust your life with will always be watching you from the back, making sure that you're alright. Let's give ourselves a slap to wake us up from the Korean drama life and snap back to reality. People separate because we attract likeminded people, and the good thing is, we either grow together or outgrow another. But it's definite that at least one of us is advancing and that's enough. For that, I am thankful.

I wouldn't say the perfect word would be "detach". I would feel it as a "no attachment".

Labels: Awkward, Life is a test, My bag was effing huge.

Thursday, September 1, 2016 @ 3:12 AM

Untouched

I've started to feel comfortable enough to jot down my true emotions and admit to things I used to detach myself from. That's why there are lesser blogposts and more journal entries recently. However, when I checked my viewers, there were 4 clicks on my blog today. Hmmmm, who could it be? Was it a friend from 2010 who still remembers my link? Was it by a current Friend that I hang out with? Was it someone that I'm never close to but somehow knows of my link?

This world has been amazing because my perception of it has broaden. Passing souls and mini giggles are the most important things to me right now. The change of importance of values has greatly impacted my decisions- and that's why my soul is satisfied. I may be studying in the same spot in school today and last year, and there would be a huge difference in the time spent. I now realise that it's not about the situation you're in nor the people around you, it's your attitude towards it that matters. Matters to who? You. Matters to me. Reflection is the easiest thing one can do at the end of the day of events. It has been effective for me and I hope more people do it too. there's a poster hanging on my bedroom wall "before you can change the world, you have to change yourself first". It's good.

Labels: invisible reality, Life is a test

Monday, September 26, 2016 @ 2:31 AM Viscoelastic If it is deemed to be insuperable, And there is no escape, Because you cannot control everything, All you need is that factor; Or being or motivation or distraction To be endowed with the the power of viscoelasticty Labels: distraction, exercise, melting, motivation back to top?
Tuesday, September 20, 2016 @ 2:29 AM Sign to Mandarin Learning a language is a commitment man. When there were performance trainings on top of the weekly classes after lessons, it was long and draggy and you just can't wait to go home to rest. The first time I used sign language in public, it was the most uncomfortable conversation ever. The stares, the eagerness to get a message across, the advanced speakers of sign language going on about a story that was 50% blur. This arduous phase, with tolerance and determination, will be better. 2.0 Mandarin Its grammar and sentence structure is slightly similar to Malay. I swear I can't differentiate between the second and third tone when practiced in a genuine conversation. Just like sign language, there will be the fluent speakers who may correct or laugh at you. Either way, these mini experiences is most important as what is taught on paper and audio is vastly different from native speakers' slang. I came across a few instances of random numbers in between words. Chinese culture is foreign yet familiar. For example: Kan yi kan Wei shen me like that?????? Labels: adventure, Heels hurt :'), language, Makan, My bag was effing huge. back to top?
Tuesday, September 13, 2016 @ 11:51 AM 3 Days, half a meal Day 1 I released 1.5 litrrs worth of hot vomit This was the end of the pain and torture Or so I thought Maybe now that my stomach is empty There will be a demand for food consumption Or so I thought My mother handed me some pills To ensure that the bacteria will not win Or so she thought This is where I had to have my first meal Fine, for the good of my body I haven't done anything for the past few days 5 table spoons of creamy chicken soup Day 2 I ended my sleep at 3pm Wow 12 hours of rest; I must be refreshed! Or so I thought The headache became a migraine Why not get it done and just pop in 3 more pills? Or so I thought On my left was a full plate since morning My favourites; apples, crab, corn and rice Or so I thought With the 1% strength I had Brushed my teeth, splashed my face It will be a better day today 2 tablespoons of corn, 1 tablespoon of crab, half cup milo Day 3 took me decades The past 10 hours of nothingness killed my brain Or so I thought Still aware still conscious Maybe dramas will kill the time Or so I thought Oh I felt what a dying man felt If I wrote down my thoughts it'll distract me Or so I thought None of those worked until I grabbed my ukulele With its body on mine, the vibration of the strings was soothing I could even rap all the verses of Not Afraid Everybody, come take my hand as I swallowed 5 full spoons of rice Yes, my tolerance and strength is finally growing Or so I thought back to top?
Saturday, September 10, 2016 @ 2:40 AM Constructive reflection People around me would easily point out that I worry easily on the simplest of things like forever loosing something (probably there's a post about it). But we all do it. It may be the misplace meant of the ezlink card, the future, the past, the unknown. The questions that we ask in our heads are subconsciously filling our minds with either negative or positive energy. And we are the ones in control of it alongside with the flow of fate. Our situation may seem to be in a disaster or we may seem too lost to move forward and that is absolutely normal. In fact, it is healthy to worry in order for us to make calculated risks and rational decisions. However, what we say to ourselves can either sabotage or be to our advantage. For the last semester, I've been attentive to the thoughts I carried around with me. Some of them were: Wtf where is it? What's wrong with ne? Why am I so lazy? These specific thoughts are focusing on the problem and not the solution. When I ask, what's wrong with me, the answers I create is a list of wrongdoings and reasons why I'm a klutz/ embarrassment. Instead, it would be different if the same thoughts were tweaked to Why did I instinctively react in a certain way? Have this been ongoing? The answers in my head would take some time to be produced because it requires a level deeper of investigation. The change in questions will affect our day, and future occurrences as we have a greater level of self awareness and this is called constructive reflection. Observe your daily thoughts, jot it down if you think you'd not be able to remember them. Today onwards, your self-awareness level increases. back to top?
Friday, September 9, 2016 @ 1:35 AM Wicked in 2016 If I watched the same play 5 years difference in time, how different would I react? Will i have the same reactions and feelings? Will it be enhanced or will it be ruined because I've anticipated it? Either way, I really wanna watch Wicked again and make a proper review on it. Here is the post-Wicked blogpost back in 2011: Wicked/2011 back to top?
Wednesday, September 7, 2016 @ 2:41 AM Storytime 1: Unkind Teaching primary school students was something recent for me and boy, was it always an interesting time. Unkind As the kids were recalling a recent conflict they faced, two girls started giggling. I walked to their tables and leaned in to check if they had written it down on the booklet- and they did. "What's so funny ladies?" I planted myself on a chair to prepare to listen to their stories. They kept giggling and showed me what they've written down. "How about I hear it from you, Keela?" As she adjusted her ombré spectacles frame, I wondered if the school even allowed it. Without gathering herself, she started her story with her boring day after school. With nothing much to do, she whatsapped the girl she was sitting next to. Both of them smiled and glanced at each other. Apparently at the time, Joycelyn was watching a YouTube video and the message notifications were distracting. Keela pressed on to get her friend's attention. "And then, she finally replied me: Stop it" Keela stated. It seems like she wasn't continuing her story, thus I probed, "And what else?". Keela giggled, "and that made me upset". I thought I was missing something, "Sorry I missed it, what did she say?" I asked. "She whatsapped me: Stop it. It was an unkind word". My heart jumped with surprise. It was my job to remain collected and professional but deep down I was rolling in tears of laughter. Turning to her friend, I asked, "Is that true, Joycelyn?". She nodded her head and pointed to the empty box at the end of the page. "So now, let's write down: Next time, I will.." I instructed and watched as they inked the box. It did not take them long to find a replacement phrase. They presented their answers to each other before showing it to me. They both wrote, "Next time, I will say 'Please stop it',". Labels: Storytime back to top?
Sunday, September 4, 2016 @ 1:46 AM Attachment Today I revisited a weekly go-to place where we can vent, dance and sing for a few hours and enjoying a common sport at the same time. Do people actually attach themselves to places too? The walls have not tasted a new coat, the suffering aircon still leaks and shuts down once in a while, the bloody mattress still catches me even when it's weak and torn. The rocks felt equally sharp, I left with at least one contusion, we joked about being uncareful when belaying and our blasting phones were placed at the same mat as we danced our way up. We no longer text every single day to express our excitement for that week's Wednesday- that was the most exciting part. This was another short phase to show us that things happen for a reason, even if they aren't logical. We may try to make sense to it or give excuses for the people who aren't in our lives anymore or beat ourselves everyday to give ourselves closure. It's just that we took it for granted and looked at it as a joke when we said caring words and promises and WA so certain that the person that you fully trust your life with will always be watching you from the back, making sure that you're alright. Let's give ourselves a slap to wake us up from the Korean drama life and snap back to reality. People separate because we attract likeminded people, and the good thing is, we either grow together or outgrow another. But it's definite that at least one of us is advancing and that's enough. For that, I am thankful. I wouldn't say the perfect word would be "detach". I would feel it as a "no attachment". Labels: Awkward, Life is a test, My bag was effing huge. back to top?
Thursday, September 1, 2016 @ 3:12 AM Untouched I've started to feel comfortable enough to jot down my true emotions and admit to things I used to detach myself from. That's why there are lesser blogposts and more journal entries recently. However, when I checked my viewers, there were 4 clicks on my blog today. Hmmmm, who could it be? Was it a friend from 2010 who still remembers my link? Was it by a current Friend that I hang out with? Was it someone that I'm never close to but somehow knows of my link? This world has been amazing because my perception of it has broaden. Passing souls and mini giggles are the most important things to me right now. The change of importance of values has greatly impacted my decisions- and that's why my soul is satisfied. I may be studying in the same spot in school today and last year, and there would be a huge difference in the time spent. I now realise that it's not about the situation you're in nor the people around you, it's your attitude towards it that matters. Matters to who? You. Matters to me. Reflection is the easiest thing one can do at the end of the day of events. It has been effective for me and I hope more people do it too. there's a poster hanging on my bedroom wall "before you can change the world, you have to change yourself first". It's good. Labels: invisible reality, Life is a test back to top?