And I just got to know

We can be friends (Click here)
Google me? HAHA miao

History and the Tagbox’s all the way at the bottom. Anyone sweet enough to teach me basic html or how to use dreamweeaver? Have a nice day stalkers :)

SUZANA WHO?
Hi there little boys and girls, today we are gonna learn how to poison squirrels. But first, I’d like you to meet my friend Suzana ; Stranger

Saturday, November 14, 2015 @ 3:28 AM

Injured in a physical competition

I had a dilemma
And a really huge one
It was pain vs suzana
It's about what I want

Honestly I dont give a damn
If we couldn't make it
But everyone was ready and brought their cam
I knew I couldn't let it slip

You see, they require two females
If not we'd be disqualified
So I couldn't just bail
My balls automatically solidified

If I were to describe to you
It's like pouring alcohol on a flesh and lighting a match
It's not burning nor is it cool
But the worst is having a patch

The patch sticks like a glue
Its required before I could wear number 4
So too bad boo hoo
The pressure hurts to the core

What is this pressure?
Is it the pain of the exposed flesh?
Or is it the disappointed faces of those who were so sure?
We went through the sequence and planned to dash
( Yea, I was torturing myself with a bash)

They look at me limp
"are you okay?"
I laughed uncontrollably like a pimp
"A O K"

Labels: #niner, Everyone was so enthu, Inhale love Exhale hate., literature, Mission accomplished, ncdcc, Outdoor love, You think you do but you have no idea.

Thursday, October 8, 2015 @ 2:32 AM

Flaming nights

This is my every night.

It is my first holiday being deprived of my mornings, afternoons and evening. All I'm left with is the night and if I could, I would've chosen climbing. Even if it was for a few hours and travelling was inconvenient to everyone, we did it. They complain that my schedule sucks but we still hang out till the wee hours. Sleep is not the problem. The problem is the 8-10am battle with my body to stay still and sit straight.

I could not come close to imagining me hanging out in town to photograph or climb to my limits or join my friends drinking.

Not once did we "waste" the little time we had with each other to study. We all lived in different areas and if we were ready to travel far, it definitely wouldn't be to study. That's when our grades hit us.

Labels: adventure, Inhale love Exhale hate., Makan, My hair is short again, Outdoor love

Thursday, July 2, 2015 @ 1:33 AM

Day 1 with the bunnies

Labels: distraction, Inhale love Exhale hate., Makan, Mission accomplished, motivation, My bag was effing huge., satisfied

Tuesday, June 16, 2015 @ 1:31 AM

Leading a group is so awkward

Welcome to the polytechnic stage where you get to experience a lot of different kinds of camps.
I am in my second year now but the role of a GL (group leader) is still very new and girl I AM SCARED DEEP DOWN.

So this year, it was really interesting to be part of the helpers for ODAC (Outdoor Adventure Club) training. And it was really awkward for me, I think the freshies felt the vibe too. So throughout the games and group interaction, I swear I was not prepared for this. Well, for you guys who have gone through multiple camps, you would get the general idea but I don't. What I resorted to was to be the lame one because that's just my natural state, like 99% of people i hung out with said so. And my partner Javier decided to join in the fun. The thing is, our group was "moving around/competing" with Deyang and Min Xuan's group and hell they are crazy too. (originally wanted to use the word 'were' but they are/is, whatever).

How to turn a boring game fun
Our first station was about making shapes with a long rope as a team while we took away your senses (visual, hearing, verbal) and I didn't read the long ass training proposal details (oh why suzana why) but my lucky stars helped me out because I played this game in secondary 3 phew! Okay so the freshies were all blinded and muted except for the supreme leader in that round and instead of helping out my group, I went to entertain the other group with my mighty distractions. Before I realised, the other GLs had grass with them as they couldn't touch girls so they came out with their own weapons. One dude almost slapped me when I blew in his ear or something. And that was basically entertainment.

What to do with extra time
Surprisingly, our two groups were so fast that we ended early at the second station. It's good to have that teamwork but gosh we had 30 minutes extra and we with the help of the station masters, we merged groups and played the idk what is it named, "Guess who started the move" where 1 person is taken away and has to find out who starts the move that everyone is doing. And they were again, surprisingly good at it, can be Mediacorp's actors and actresses already.

How to remember names

You have a bunch of new friends going round introducing yourself and you try to mentally take note of every single of of it and its hard in the given time we had. And in the future trainings, they'll be like "Hey Suzana, remember me?". So I had such an intelligent plan. And the plan was to disguise my name so that every training they would get mind-screwed. It was a big fail, they figured it out eventually. My point is, its just hard to remember names so please gimme some tips if you have any thank you. (maybe I'm so used to having juniors having name tags on their uniform which is so convenient for GLs)

At the end of the training, made some lovely friends and I hope they learnt a little or two from this "teamwork training". It was successful due to those who came with an open mind and the organised and hardworking committee.

ps; the blue t-shirt is familiar isn't it?

Labels: Everyone was so enthu, exercise, Inhale love Exhale hate., interesting, Mission accomplished

Friday, April 24, 2015 @ 11:46 PM

Silent pledge

I experienced listening with my eyes and talking with my hands.

We started our silent pledge in school before we traveled around Singapore. It was one of the most eye-opening days because literally, we walked in the shoes of the hearing impaired. My first 5 minutes challenge was not the ayam penyet- because I could point to the picture to order, but the lady who took the order and said to her colleague in a mother tongue “got mouth but cannot open to use”. I guess I would get her frustration as she might see it as a form of disrespect, and I didn’t even try explaining cause I had no clue on how I should start. I walked away. So I didn’t buy drinks because the words were so high and small I couldn’t possibly point accurately. That was my first 10 minutes of silence.

I can truly empathize from watching videos without sound, trying to lip read to the stares we received on public transports. It felt like we were a walking anomaly amongst the talking.

My brain and hands coordinated the most today and it wasn't a blue day like CLEOPATRA's (our group name) colour.

I loved it. I love that silence does not limit us from talking about anything under the sun. I love that signing with a group in public does not make me feel any discomfort. I love that I fell in love with this beautiful language.

ps; I missed my heartbeat performance :( as it was the exact timing as NCDCC 10 Years Day Parade.

yes, its tiring rushing in and out of camp sacrificing a little of both, but this is Suzana being happy. Shall write more in a new post.

Labels: be patient., camp, Everyone was so enthu, exercise, Inhale love Exhale hate., Life is a test, melting, Mission accomplished, My bag was effing huge., You think you do but you have no idea.

Sunday, February 15, 2015 @ 7:47 PM

I dream.

I dream to have a peaceful life surrounded with the people I love, seeking to discover, learn and venture the world. While we all need some kind of stability in our lives, I am waiting for the day money can take me to places around the world to explore both the complexity and simplicity of different cultures. Owning my own boat to pierce through clear seas of different shades of blue and use my arm strength to paddle in a humble kayak to safe and quiet islands. Currently, I am trapped in my country with commitments which disallows me to pull away from them easily. It is a choice I made for survival for a stable standard of living. I'll get through these years, and hopefully it will not be too long of a wait as Death is hiding and I will never know when I might stumble upon him.

I dream to meet people from all walks of life, and I mean those who grew up in a completely different environment and I wish to befriend them, to know their story, to try to experience something completely new. I had a big dream to make a difference to the world and then a teacher snapped halfway by saying "I meant ambition, like your career". I did not know exactly what job I could live with the rest of my life but isn't the meaning of ambition a strong desire to do something? It is achievable in the smallest ways even back here at home. My Cinderella feet is taking tiny steps.

I dream to enrich people's lives, to empower them to empower others. To spread the love around the globe, I have to handle the fact that love rays do not always bounce back. In fact, the rays might bounce to someone else, and that's all that it matters. :)

Labels: be patient., I still believe, Inhale love Exhale hate., Life is a test, motivation, You think you do but you have no idea.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014 @ 4:20 PM

Experiments

Hello everybody and I mean the walls of this blog. Being curious is part and parcel of life and that's one of the reasons why we experiment! While many are seen experimenting on girls, sports, fashion or cliques, I still enjoy being that little girl who didn't read instructions well and screwed up her chemistry practical test. Ah the 2013 wonders of heating, popping and crystallization.

We started off with our safety gears aka personal protection equipments! Gloves were essential to prevent them NH4 from stinking our skins.

So maybe thousands of other youths have done this and we're alittle outdated but yaaaa. Were you trapped in a toilet with the only means of escape for the smell is a tiny window? Ya I didnt think so either.

After the 15 minutes wait we scrubbed off the pungent smell and replaced it with soft shampoo and conditioner.

Adios amigos to full black hair. This was taken the night before where I got my haircut.

Ps; HAPPY 10th BIRTHDAY TO THE THREE OF US yay.

Labels: Eat, Fun, Happy shopping, I doakan YOU SAYANGS, Inhale love Exhale hate., IWMHBAF, Whatisfashion

Sunday, July 20, 2014 @ 1:40 AM

Unpleasant

I've always thought that it was basic for human beings to feel empathy. I guess I'm wrong.

Maybe you would see them give up a seat for an elderly, but was it sincere? Maybe they are the ones who has the largest network, but do they have at least one confidant? Maybe they are highly respected by their "followers", but are they over using this power? Power and respect has to be earned. On top of that, if you have good charisma and portray yourself as the one who takes care of everyone's well-being, it will be no cake to influence their minds and beliefs. And then comes the cunning side. The question is why?

Am I the only one who can see their masks? Why do people believe and obey without having a mind of their own? Why is portraying others badly and succeeding in changing followers views satisfy them? The schadenfreude slanders.

This is a general post not aimed towards anyone. However, if there are cases of unintended pain, it is my mistake and I apologize that the shoe fits.

Labels: Inhale love Exhale hate., You think you do but you have no idea.

Monday, June 23, 2014 @ 9:49 PM

Exultant

For me, my materialistic infatuation started from sneakers. As I learnt to save my allowances and actually spend it, I realise money is meant to be used and not just growing slowly in the bank. But ofcourse, you can love more than one right? Well love is too strong of a description. I had a strange attraction to socks soon after. Those colorful fully-decorate ones that are hidden inside. Usually small ones as i use them 5 times a week. Except for one extremely thick, black, knee-high one for me at least I had since sec one, and I use it every friday for yes, cca. My collection faded due to wear-and-tear and I just let it go.

Recently, I finally have a not-so-strange adoration; just like quite a portion of the female population- jewelry. It started just before prom. And it is growing and this is a warning, future husband. Topaz. It screams class, peace and frozen. hahahaha yes, one of my recent cartoon crush,

Is this temporary?

Wise words from disney lyrics:

"Conceal, dont feel, don’t let them know... LET IT GO LET IT GO”

The best part about work was that there was this tiniest girl, taking a role of elsa and singing that part over and over while swaying around with all her might. And perfectly, I forgot to bring my jacket that day. So when the part came, I sang to her “The cold never bothered me anyway”. Well other than the fact that I was having flu. Shoo!

Labels: I dont know whats blissful actually., Inhale love Exhale hate., It's not the first time i heard that question., Life is a test

Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 3:05 AM

Family.

If you think Im a retard, I’d like to introduce to you my family.

Who says you can’t snap pictures..

While rushing to find a seat,

While our parents shop and we were ordered to take a proper photo,

While teaching Farhan the art of mastering “that suzana face”, he’s a good student hahaah.

While our parents are informing us of the plans and timings for the day,

btw, I was teaching her the face to use when you want something at the bottom left photo.

While exploring unknown places,

While surviving on a long road trip,

While all the adults were gone and we had a hotel room to ourselves,

While waiting for free food,

“I want to be in the picture leh!"

Or trying to get the “perfect raya family photo”,

When we saw a friendly creature,

When we got the apartment to ourselves

After pleasing an adult to get us all ice cream,

When I tell them a damn lame joke,

Or as simple as sleep overs.

We grew up this way. And still growing. Eh, we think we powerpuff family okay.

This 3 ladies are the main Blossom, Bubbles, Buttercup.

There’s also the boy version of them which are the 3 bros.

We have mojojojojo, princess morbucks and him.

And I just got to realise that I have neglected them this holiday.

Here’s a glass (of juice) to you for viewing all our asking-to-get-slapped faces.

ps; I need to be disciplined and start sleeping earlier. Rest is important suzana.

Labels: Fun, I doakan YOU SAYANGS, Inhale love Exhale hate.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013 @ 12:17 AM

Kudaku berlari gagah berani

Ya, selaku pelajar yang mengambil subjek bahasa melayu dan tidak berlatih seharian, saya patut berfokus dalam kelas tambahan. Di sekolah saya, semua murid diberi peluang untuk mengulangkaji bersama guru selepas sekolah hingga empat setengah. Walaupun kadangkala ia menyeksakan untuk hadirkan diri, is untuk kebaikan saya sendiri. Keadaan di perpustakaan sunyi sepi dan sejuk lalu mataku bermula menutup. Guru asyik mengingatkan yang peperiksaan sudah hampir supaya kami boleh menyediakan diri. Saya telah mencuba semua teknik-teknik untuk belajar supaya mendapat mempertingkatkan imbuhan dan kosakata. Saya amat bersyukur kerana zaman ini agak termaju kerana mempunyai banyak alat-alat belajar. Contohnya, kamus di telefon bimbit. Selain buku teks/ cerita, saya juga telah mendapat ilmu dari menonton televisyen dan mendengari radio. Salah satu lagu yang saya ingin berkongsi dengan para pembaca adalah Kau Ilhamku.

Thousands of stars in the sky have now disappeared
I feel about in the darkness
The floating moon is now growing darker
My inspiration fades without a direction

A moment of your face appears in the quiet
There is flickering of light
Is that the stars or the moon?
I say thank you

Allow me to steal the shadow of your face
Allow me to steal the imagination with you

Forgive me, oh
Imagine this song could disturb the space you live in ,
You smile, oh
Just memories of us in this arena
You're my inspiration . . . you're my inspiration

Labels: Inhale love Exhale hate., Nervous., study

Saturday, May 11, 2013 @ 6:55 PM

Simple gift for Mothers Day

Mothers day nearing and out of ideas? Out of money to buy her a beautiful dress or just untalented to cook? Abstain from making a dish if she'd risk having a diarrhea on the night of mothers day. Design a simple card for the one who delivered you to this world. I’m pretty sure many out there have been doing this for years and years but hey, if it brings a smile to her face, it’s a pretty brilliant idea.

Number #1: Make it BOOM, something that might catch her eyes. I chose pop-out cards even though I had no clue before this on how to create one. There’s an amazing saviour called google, use it.

Number #2: Her favourite color, new colors, colors of love. It doesn’t have to be a fantastic color match because after all, its the effort that counts. Get your paintbrushes, colored papers, color pencils, markers, crayons out. Let your inner-art-self to do the work.

Number #3: Oh if you’re showing your love only on Mothers day, EVERYDAY IS MOTHERS DAY. I understand sometimes that it might be a rough day for both of you, but try to keep your cool and still respect her.

Number #4: Now that it is decorated perfectly... Whats an outstanding card without a heartfelt letter? If the culture at home is not frequent with the “I love you”s, take this as an opportunity to remind her. Be down-to-earth or make it a hilarious one. Nothing’s stopping you from combining them both! Just don’t copy and paste paragraphs from the Internet. Write it from your heart because words are powerful tools.

Number #5: Give her a hug/ kiss/ tell her face to face. Spend the day with her and devote yourself to make her feel loved. Make her realize that she has raised her child well. It defeats the purpose of this manmade day if you had chilled out with your friends instead of mummy dearest.

Time to express your gratitude to your mum. Being a mother is the most important job in the world. I hope I’ve got you moving and excited to start. Have fun preparing to all the daughters and sons out there who has a mum. Well, who doesn't?

Labels: Inhale love Exhale hate.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013 @ 9:05 PM

Alive and caged.

We call it natural when chimpanzees use slender grass stalks as tools to harvest termites from a nest. We’ve seen displays of empathy, communication, corporation, intelligence in many documentaries and when you think about it, we are very similar. It’s not the big a leap. There is no excuse for harming those innocent creatures. Animals should be treated fairly and their feelings should be taken into account. Im sure many readers would agree but how far would you go to prevent animal abuse?

To start it off, you as an individual should treat animals with great care and compassion. Be a role model and you might influence others to do so as well. It warms my heart when I see random people feeding pondering stray cats at the void deck. Atleast there is hope in humanity.

There have been many unreported animal abuses as passersby neglect what they witness. If you see any suspicious acts such as puppies been kicked around like a football, don’t hesitate to call the Agri-food and Veteran Authority of Singapore (AVA). It has opened up a 24hour hotline to respond to urgent cases. Don’t worry, you would not be the only one. More than 9,500 cases of animal cruelty or related issues were reported just last year. It all starts with you.

There is also an event called the “Be Kind To Animals Week” which has been celebrated since 1915. Ofcourse you do not limit your gratitude to that particular week only. 5-18 May is the week where you become exceptionally kind to them. Just by spreading the information of this event, you can make a difference. Every small act towards creating a better world for animals matters.

Labels: be patient., Inhale love Exhale hate., You think you do but you have no idea.

Monday, April 8, 2013 @ 11:35 PM

Hydrogen gas test

Firstly, I just can’t comprehend to why we had to fall in at exactly 3.30pm when focus test ends at the same time. Haha now that I come to think of it, I realize the teacher who was lecturing us on the importance of coming earlier for test had wasted our time. You see, we changed and reached class 5 minutes before 2.30pm which apparently wasn’t early enough.

Darren was the parade commander (he has been waiting forever). It’s his last chance to shine and Im truly proud of all of us who have gone through 4 years of running for the sirs favourite walls and trees. Being the IC of the NCDCC contingent, I turned to glance at my cadet mates for the last time in a squad. Before facing the front, Ainah and I pinky promised to not tear at all.

Our Passing Out Parade was held at the hall and I had to clench my fist damn tightly to control my emotions. During the two mini rehearsals, I constantly assured myself “It’s not the last time”.

Literally in a blink of an eye (ok la i closed my eyes for 10 seconds at least to prepare myself mentally), PC commanded “Hormat kehadapan, HORMAT” for arrival of Mr Gan.

Faizal, Ainah, Chye Yeun, Zhi Yao received awards for outstanding contributions and as they marched down one by one, I smiled widely to them, and they returned it proudly :)

Mr Gan gave his speech which was compressed in his version of "Hare and Turtle” story which made me reflect on my sec 2-3 days. Then a sudden flash of me whining to my mum on how lame uniform groups are when I was forced to put it as my first choice. No regrets, phew!

So finally, I took my last deep breath. and I shouted it, *left right left* “POP!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Yes, I was hesitant to throw my beret up in the air, afraid that I would not have the accuracy to catch my pride. I held in beret still on my head with both hands, it just didn’t want to come off, you know?

It wasn’t hard to differentiate my beret from the rest :) If you get it.

We were greeted by our children with hugs, cards, and huge posters. Yes, it was unexpected. If you thought they were sweet, you thought wrong. We walked ourselves into sticky flour and dots were all over me. I didn’t dare to open my eyes. Even my phone decided to swim in the sink. That really shattered my heart. I know it’s just a device that can be bought, but hello, please be considerate and at least save my phone.

The cake was delicious :P I thanked them for all the efforts on the cards and collecting money because I was there last year and it was torturous. My SCLT behind was being cheeky but he taught me a lot in the short period of time he was in Jurong West. My cadets are lucky to have him from the moment they take over the unit.

Ofcourse I took pictures with my friends from other cca. I didn’t get to use my phone camera much. *sigh* I even wasted my efforts in bringing my polaroid. *STANDING OVATION FOR SUZANA* Ps; this chiobu on my left who calls me “handsome” every time, really thinks he’s some hot stuff. hahah

I wanted to finish this bottle of water as I needed space in my bag to fit in my full uniform. Mission accomplished.

I didn’t check the time nor my phone (because it was missing) and my ideas were put to waste. Everything didn’t go according to MY PLAN. It wasn’t me who was supposed to be receiving the flour. One fine day, someone will do my job for me. HAHA.

Those heartfelt letters were adorable and funny and they can finally tease me. But what really snapped me was when a cadet came to me and asked innocently “ASM, when will you be coming back?”

This does not mark the end of my journey in NCDCC.

Hopefully, I’ll be back.

Labels: Fun, i need a hug., Inhale love Exhale hate., Makan, My bag was effing huge., ncdcc, Umbrellas, You think you do but you have no idea.

Saturday, November 14, 2015 @ 3:28 AM Injured in a physical competition I had a dilemma And a really huge one It was pain vs suzana It's about what I want Honestly I dont give a damn If we couldn't make it But everyone was ready and brought their cam I knew I couldn't let it slip You see, they require two females If not we'd be disqualified So I couldn't just bail My balls automatically solidified If I were to describe to you It's like pouring alcohol on a flesh and lighting a match It's not burning nor is it cool But the worst is having a patch The patch sticks like a glue Its required before I could wear number 4 So too bad boo hoo The pressure hurts to the core What is this pressure? Is it the pain of the exposed flesh? Or is it the disappointed faces of those who were so sure? We went through the sequence and planned to dash ( Yea, I was torturing myself with a bash) They look at me limp "are you okay?" I laughed uncontrollably like a pimp "A O K" Labels: #niner, Everyone was so enthu, Inhale love Exhale hate., literature, Mission accomplished, ncdcc, Outdoor love, You think you do but you have no idea. back to top?
Thursday, October 8, 2015 @ 2:32 AM Flaming nights This is my every night. It is my first holiday being deprived of my mornings, afternoons and evening. All I'm left with is the night and if I could, I would've chosen climbing. Even if it was for a few hours and travelling was inconvenient to everyone, we did it. They complain that my schedule sucks but we still hang out till the wee hours. Sleep is not the problem. The problem is the 8-10am battle with my body to stay still and sit straight. I could not come close to imagining me hanging out in town to photograph or climb to my limits or join my friends drinking. Not once did we "waste" the little time we had with each other to study. We all lived in different areas and if we were ready to travel far, it definitely wouldn't be to study. That's when our grades hit us. Labels: adventure, Inhale love Exhale hate., Makan, My hair is short again, Outdoor love back to top?
Thursday, July 2, 2015 @ 1:33 AM Day 1 with the bunnies Labels: distraction, Inhale love Exhale hate., Makan, Mission accomplished, motivation, My bag was effing huge., satisfied back to top?
Tuesday, June 16, 2015 @ 1:31 AM Leading a group is so awkward Welcome to the polytechnic stage where you get to experience a lot of different kinds of camps. I am in my second year now but the role of a GL (group leader) is still very new and girl I AM SCARED DEEP DOWN. So this year, it was really interesting to be part of the helpers for ODAC (Outdoor Adventure Club) training. And it was really awkward for me, I think the freshies felt the vibe too. So throughout the games and group interaction, I swear I was not prepared for this. Well, for you guys who have gone through multiple camps, you would get the general idea but I don't. What I resorted to was to be the lame one because that's just my natural state, like 99% of people i hung out with said so. And my partner Javier decided to join in the fun. The thing is, our group was "moving around/competing" with Deyang and Min Xuan's group and hell they are crazy too. (originally wanted to use the word 'were' but they are/is, whatever). How to turn a boring game fun Our first station was about making shapes with a long rope as a team while we took away your senses (visual, hearing, verbal) and I didn't read the long ass training proposal details (oh why suzana why) but my lucky stars helped me out because I played this game in secondary 3 phew! Okay so the freshies were all blinded and muted except for the supreme leader in that round and instead of helping out my group, I went to entertain the other group with my mighty distractions. Before I realised, the other GLs had grass with them as they couldn't touch girls so they came out with their own weapons. One dude almost slapped me when I blew in his ear or something. And that was basically entertainment. What to do with extra time Surprisingly, our two groups were so fast that we ended early at the second station. It's good to have that teamwork but gosh we had 30 minutes extra and we with the help of the station masters, we merged groups and played the idk what is it named, "Guess who started the move" where 1 person is taken away and has to find out who starts the move that everyone is doing. And they were again, surprisingly good at it, can be Mediacorp's actors and actresses already. How to remember names You have a bunch of new friends going round introducing yourself and you try to mentally take note of every single of of it and its hard in the given time we had. And in the future trainings, they'll be like "Hey Suzana, remember me?". So I had such an intelligent plan. And the plan was to disguise my name so that every training they would get mind-screwed. It was a big fail, they figured it out eventually. My point is, its just hard to remember names so please gimme some tips if you have any thank you. (maybe I'm so used to having juniors having name tags on their uniform which is so convenient for GLs) At the end of the training, made some lovely friends and I hope they learnt a little or two from this "teamwork training". It was successful due to those who came with an open mind and the organised and hardworking committee. ps; the blue t-shirt is familiar isn't it? Labels: Everyone was so enthu, exercise, Inhale love Exhale hate., interesting, Mission accomplished back to top?
Friday, April 24, 2015 @ 11:46 PM Silent pledge I experienced listening with my eyes and talking with my hands. We started our silent pledge in school before we traveled around Singapore. It was one of the most eye-opening days because literally, we walked in the shoes of the hearing impaired. My first 5 minutes challenge was not the ayam penyet- because I could point to the picture to order, but the lady who took the order and said to her colleague in a mother tongue “got mouth but cannot open to use”. I guess I would get her frustration as she might see it as a form of disrespect, and I didn’t even try explaining cause I had no clue on how I should start. I walked away. So I didn’t buy drinks because the words were so high and small I couldn’t possibly point accurately. That was my first 10 minutes of silence. I can truly empathize from watching videos without sound, trying to lip read to the stares we received on public transports. It felt like we were a walking anomaly amongst the talking. My brain and hands coordinated the most today and it wasn't a blue day like CLEOPATRA's (our group name) colour. I loved it. I love that silence does not limit us from talking about anything under the sun. I love that signing with a group in public does not make me feel any discomfort. I love that I fell in love with this beautiful language. ps; I missed my heartbeat performance :( as it was the exact timing as NCDCC 10 Years Day Parade. yes, its tiring rushing in and out of camp sacrificing a little of both, but this is Suzana being happy. Shall write more in a new post. Labels: be patient., camp, Everyone was so enthu, exercise, Inhale love Exhale hate., Life is a test, melting, Mission accomplished, My bag was effing huge., You think you do but you have no idea. back to top?
Sunday, February 15, 2015 @ 7:47 PM I dream. I dream to have a peaceful life surrounded with the people I love, seeking to discover, learn and venture the world. While we all need some kind of stability in our lives, I am waiting for the day money can take me to places around the world to explore both the complexity and simplicity of different cultures. Owning my own boat to pierce through clear seas of different shades of blue and use my arm strength to paddle in a humble kayak to safe and quiet islands. Currently, I am trapped in my country with commitments which disallows me to pull away from them easily. It is a choice I made for survival for a stable standard of living. I'll get through these years, and hopefully it will not be too long of a wait as Death is hiding and I will never know when I might stumble upon him. I dream to meet people from all walks of life, and I mean those who grew up in a completely different environment and I wish to befriend them, to know their story, to try to experience something completely new. I had a big dream to make a difference to the world and then a teacher snapped halfway by saying "I meant ambition, like your career". I did not know exactly what job I could live with the rest of my life but isn't the meaning of ambition a strong desire to do something? It is achievable in the smallest ways even back here at home. My Cinderella feet is taking tiny steps. I dream to enrich people's lives, to empower them to empower others. To spread the love around the globe, I have to handle the fact that love rays do not always bounce back. In fact, the rays might bounce to someone else, and that's all that it matters. :) Labels: be patient., I still believe, Inhale love Exhale hate., Life is a test, motivation, You think you do but you have no idea. back to top?
Wednesday, October 22, 2014 @ 4:20 PM Experiments Hello everybody and I mean the walls of this blog. Being curious is part and parcel of life and that's one of the reasons why we experiment! While many are seen experimenting on girls, sports, fashion or cliques, I still enjoy being that little girl who didn't read instructions well and screwed up her chemistry practical test. Ah the 2013 wonders of heating, popping and crystallization. We started off with our safety gears aka personal protection equipments! Gloves were essential to prevent them NH4 from stinking our skins. So maybe thousands of other youths have done this and we're alittle outdated but yaaaa. Were you trapped in a toilet with the only means of escape for the smell is a tiny window? Ya I didnt think so either. After the 15 minutes wait we scrubbed off the pungent smell and replaced it with soft shampoo and conditioner. Adios amigos to full black hair. This was taken the night before where I got my haircut. Ps; HAPPY 10th BIRTHDAY TO THE THREE OF US yay. Labels: Eat, Fun, Happy shopping, I doakan YOU SAYANGS, Inhale love Exhale hate., IWMHBAF, Whatisfashion back to top?
Sunday, July 20, 2014 @ 1:40 AM Unpleasant I've always thought that it was basic for human beings to feel empathy. I guess I'm wrong. Maybe you would see them give up a seat for an elderly, but was it sincere? Maybe they are the ones who has the largest network, but do they have at least one confidant? Maybe they are highly respected by their "followers", but are they over using this power? Power and respect has to be earned. On top of that, if you have good charisma and portray yourself as the one who takes care of everyone's well-being, it will be no cake to influence their minds and beliefs. And then comes the cunning side. The question is why? Am I the only one who can see their masks? Why do people believe and obey without having a mind of their own? Why is portraying others badly and succeeding in changing followers views satisfy them? The schadenfreude slanders. This is a general post not aimed towards anyone. However, if there are cases of unintended pain, it is my mistake and I apologize that the shoe fits. Labels: Inhale love Exhale hate., You think you do but you have no idea. back to top?
Monday, June 23, 2014 @ 9:49 PM Exultant For me, my materialistic infatuation started from sneakers. As I learnt to save my allowances and actually spend it, I realise money is meant to be used and not just growing slowly in the bank. But ofcourse, you can love more than one right? Well love is too strong of a description. I had a strange attraction to socks soon after. Those colorful fully-decorate ones that are hidden inside. Usually small ones as i use them 5 times a week. Except for one extremely thick, black, knee-high one for me at least I had since sec one, and I use it every friday for yes, cca. My collection faded due to wear-and-tear and I just let it go. Recently, I finally have a not-so-strange adoration; just like quite a portion of the female population- jewelry. It started just before prom. And it is growing and this is a warning, future husband. Topaz. It screams class, peace and frozen. hahahaha yes, one of my recent cartoon crush, Is this temporary? Wise words from disney lyrics: "Conceal, dont feel, don’t let them know... LET IT GO LET IT GO” The best part about work was that there was this tiniest girl, taking a role of elsa and singing that part over and over while swaying around with all her might. And perfectly, I forgot to bring my jacket that day. So when the part came, I sang to her “The cold never bothered me anyway”. Well other than the fact that I was having flu. Shoo! Labels: I dont know whats blissful actually., Inhale love Exhale hate., It's not the first time i heard that question., Life is a test back to top?
Thursday, June 27, 2013 @ 3:05 AM Family. If you think Im a retard, I’d like to introduce to you my family. Who says you can’t snap pictures.. While rushing to find a seat, While our parents shop and we were ordered to take a proper photo, While teaching Farhan the art of mastering “that suzana face”, he’s a good student hahaah. While our parents are informing us of the plans and timings for the day, btw, I was teaching her the face to use when you want something at the bottom left photo. While exploring unknown places, While surviving on a long road trip, While all the adults were gone and we had a hotel room to ourselves, While waiting for free food, “I want to be in the picture leh!" Or trying to get the “perfect raya family photo”, When we saw a friendly creature, When we got the apartment to ourselves After pleasing an adult to get us all ice cream, When I tell them a damn lame joke, Or as simple as sleep overs. We grew up this way. And still growing. Eh, we think we powerpuff family okay. This 3 ladies are the main Blossom, Bubbles, Buttercup. There’s also the boy version of them which are the 3 bros. We have mojojojojo, princess morbucks and him. And I just got to realise that I have neglected them this holiday. Here’s a glass (of juice) to you for viewing all our asking-to-get-slapped faces. ps; I need to be disciplined and start sleeping earlier. Rest is important suzana. Labels: Fun, I doakan YOU SAYANGS, Inhale love Exhale hate. back to top?
Wednesday, May 29, 2013 @ 12:17 AM Kudaku berlari gagah berani Ya, selaku pelajar yang mengambil subjek bahasa melayu dan tidak berlatih seharian, saya patut berfokus dalam kelas tambahan. Di sekolah saya, semua murid diberi peluang untuk mengulangkaji bersama guru selepas sekolah hingga empat setengah. Walaupun kadangkala ia menyeksakan untuk hadirkan diri, is untuk kebaikan saya sendiri. Keadaan di perpustakaan sunyi sepi dan sejuk lalu mataku bermula menutup. Guru asyik mengingatkan yang peperiksaan sudah hampir supaya kami boleh menyediakan diri. Saya telah mencuba semua teknik-teknik untuk belajar supaya mendapat mempertingkatkan imbuhan dan kosakata. Saya amat bersyukur kerana zaman ini agak termaju kerana mempunyai banyak alat-alat belajar. Contohnya, kamus di telefon bimbit. Selain buku teks/ cerita, saya juga telah mendapat ilmu dari menonton televisyen dan mendengari radio. Salah satu lagu yang saya ingin berkongsi dengan para pembaca adalah Kau Ilhamku. Thousands of stars in the sky have now disappeared I feel about in the darkness The floating moon is now growing darker My inspiration fades without a direction A moment of your face appears in the quiet There is flickering of light Is that the stars or the moon? I say thank you Allow me to steal the shadow of your face Allow me to steal the imagination with you Forgive me, oh Imagine this song could disturb the space you live in , You smile, oh Just memories of us in this arena You're my inspiration . . . you're my inspiration Labels: Inhale love Exhale hate., Nervous., study back to top?
Saturday, May 11, 2013 @ 6:55 PM Simple gift for Mothers Day Mothers day nearing and out of ideas? Out of money to buy her a beautiful dress or just untalented to cook? Abstain from making a dish if she'd risk having a diarrhea on the night of mothers day. Design a simple card for the one who delivered you to this world. I’m pretty sure many out there have been doing this for years and years but hey, if it brings a smile to her face, it’s a pretty brilliant idea. Number #1: Make it BOOM, something that might catch her eyes. I chose pop-out cards even though I had no clue before this on how to create one. There’s an amazing saviour called google, use it. Number #2: Her favourite color, new colors, colors of love. It doesn’t have to be a fantastic color match because after all, its the effort that counts. Get your paintbrushes, colored papers, color pencils, markers, crayons out. Let your inner-art-self to do the work. Number #3: Oh if you’re showing your love only on Mothers day, EVERYDAY IS MOTHERS DAY. I understand sometimes that it might be a rough day for both of you, but try to keep your cool and still respect her. Number #4: Now that it is decorated perfectly... Whats an outstanding card without a heartfelt letter? If the culture at home is not frequent with the “I love you”s, take this as an opportunity to remind her. Be down-to-earth or make it a hilarious one. Nothing’s stopping you from combining them both! Just don’t copy and paste paragraphs from the Internet. Write it from your heart because words are powerful tools. Number #5: Give her a hug/ kiss/ tell her face to face. Spend the day with her and devote yourself to make her feel loved. Make her realize that she has raised her child well. It defeats the purpose of this manmade day if you had chilled out with your friends instead of mummy dearest. Time to express your gratitude to your mum. Being a mother is the most important job in the world. I hope I’ve got you moving and excited to start. Have fun preparing to all the daughters and sons out there who has a mum. Well, who doesn't? Labels: Inhale love Exhale hate. back to top?
Wednesday, May 1, 2013 @ 9:05 PM Alive and caged. We call it natural when chimpanzees use slender grass stalks as tools to harvest termites from a nest. We’ve seen displays of empathy, communication, corporation, intelligence in many documentaries and when you think about it, we are very similar. It’s not the big a leap. There is no excuse for harming those innocent creatures. Animals should be treated fairly and their feelings should be taken into account. Im sure many readers would agree but how far would you go to prevent animal abuse? To start it off, you as an individual should treat animals with great care and compassion. Be a role model and you might influence others to do so as well. It warms my heart when I see random people feeding pondering stray cats at the void deck. Atleast there is hope in humanity. There have been many unreported animal abuses as passersby neglect what they witness. If you see any suspicious acts such as puppies been kicked around like a football, don’t hesitate to call the Agri-food and Veteran Authority of Singapore (AVA). It has opened up a 24hour hotline to respond to urgent cases. Don’t worry, you would not be the only one. More than 9,500 cases of animal cruelty or related issues were reported just last year. It all starts with you. There is also an event called the “Be Kind To Animals Week” which has been celebrated since 1915. Ofcourse you do not limit your gratitude to that particular week only. 5-18 May is the week where you become exceptionally kind to them. Just by spreading the information of this event, you can make a difference. Every small act towards creating a better world for animals matters. Labels: be patient., Inhale love Exhale hate., You think you do but you have no idea. back to top?
Monday, April 8, 2013 @ 11:35 PM Hydrogen gas test Firstly, I just can’t comprehend to why we had to fall in at exactly 3.30pm when focus test ends at the same time. Haha now that I come to think of it, I realize the teacher who was lecturing us on the importance of coming earlier for test had wasted our time. You see, we changed and reached class 5 minutes before 2.30pm which apparently wasn’t early enough. Darren was the parade commander (he has been waiting forever). It’s his last chance to shine and Im truly proud of all of us who have gone through 4 years of running for the sirs favourite walls and trees. Being the IC of the NCDCC contingent, I turned to glance at my cadet mates for the last time in a squad. Before facing the front, Ainah and I pinky promised to not tear at all. Our Passing Out Parade was held at the hall and I had to clench my fist damn tightly to control my emotions. During the two mini rehearsals, I constantly assured myself “It’s not the last time”. Literally in a blink of an eye (ok la i closed my eyes for 10 seconds at least to prepare myself mentally), PC commanded “Hormat kehadapan, HORMAT” for arrival of Mr Gan. Faizal, Ainah, Chye Yeun, Zhi Yao received awards for outstanding contributions and as they marched down one by one, I smiled widely to them, and they returned it proudly :) Mr Gan gave his speech which was compressed in his version of "Hare and Turtle” story which made me reflect on my sec 2-3 days. Then a sudden flash of me whining to my mum on how lame uniform groups are when I was forced to put it as my first choice. No regrets, phew! So finally, I took my last deep breath. and I shouted it, left right left “POP!!!!!!!!!!!!” Yes, I was hesitant to throw my beret up in the air, afraid that I would not have the accuracy to catch my pride. I held in beret still on my head with both hands, it just didn’t want to come off, you know? It wasn’t hard to differentiate my beret from the rest :) If you get it. We were greeted by our children with hugs, cards, and huge posters. Yes, it was unexpected. If you thought they were sweet, you thought wrong. We walked ourselves into sticky flour and dots were all over me. I didn’t dare to open my eyes. Even my phone decided to swim in the sink. That really shattered my heart. I know it’s just a device that can be bought, but hello, please be considerate and at least save my phone. The cake was delicious :P I thanked them for all the efforts on the cards and collecting money because I was there last year and it was torturous. My SCLT behind was being cheeky but he taught me a lot in the short period of time he was in Jurong West. My cadets are lucky to have him from the moment they take over the unit. Ofcourse I took pictures with my friends from other cca. I didn’t get to use my phone camera much. sigh I even wasted my efforts in bringing my polaroid. STANDING OVATION FOR SUZANA Ps; this chiobu on my left who calls me “handsome” every time, really thinks he’s some hot stuff. hahah I wanted to finish this bottle of water as I needed space in my bag to fit in my full uniform. Mission accomplished. I didn’t check the time nor my phone (because it was missing) and my ideas were put to waste. Everything didn’t go according to MY PLAN. It wasn’t me who was supposed to be receiving the flour. One fine day, someone will do my job for me. HAHA. Those heartfelt letters were adorable and funny and they can finally tease me. But what really snapped me was when a cadet came to me and asked innocently “ASM, when will you be coming back?” This does not mark the end of my journey in NCDCC. Hopefully, I’ll be back. Labels: Fun, i need a hug., Inhale love Exhale hate., Makan, My bag was effing huge., ncdcc, Umbrellas, You think you do but you have no idea. back to top?