And I just got to know

We can be friends (Click here)
Google me? HAHA miao

History and the Tagbox’s all the way at the bottom. Anyone sweet enough to teach me basic html or how to use dreamweeaver? Have a nice day stalkers :)

SUZANA WHO?
Hi there little boys and girls, today we are gonna learn how to poison squirrels. But first, I’d like you to meet my friend Suzana ; Stranger

Tuesday, August 2, 2016 @ 11:39 PM

Double but

Okay, this year I'll take a risk

I promised myself it'll be good

Then an opportunity was walking a brisk

But its nothing that I've pursued.

You see, it's all these buts

They're walls that I've created

Cos seriously, It'll be nuts

If I tried instead of waited

But, my mind was strong that day

There was a but to the but

I don't wanna do it but hey,

Will I make the cut?

Labels: be patient., I still believe, Im positive alright

Friday, April 8, 2016 @ 1:13 AM

What are you looking forward to?

Wrapped under my thin bedsheets, my hands escaped towards the direction of my 7 day old IPhone. I took extra caution with this new child to prove to myself that I am capable of keeping a mobile device in tip top condition. I pull down to refresh the same page every 2 seconds. There is no more slots available. Please select another schedule. Time check. 6 hours till the next lesson seems fair. Maybe I'll drop by YouTube while waiting. Alright cavetown, I choose you again. Before I pressed on the triangular button, my thumb double taps the home button and swiped to Safari. Won't hurt if I refreshed one more time right?

There is no more slots available. Please select another schedule.

Just one more.

Refresh.

Labels: adventure, be patient., Nervous., no photos :(

Sunday, October 25, 2015 @ 2:54 AM

Oooooooooooooooooo

To the weekends where I get to spend the entire day walking and queuing till all the blood got so tired they stayed at my feet. The long wait wasn't torturous with the company I had.

And as teenagers, we can't recognize the importance of sleep thus we took our time and still cooked supper. Just in time for a 3 hour nap. Great. Good choices.

Labels: adventure, be patient., exercise, Fun

Monday, August 17, 2015 @ 5:17 PM

I chose happiness

"Finals in two days and I chose happiness"

Yes, I am very proud of my video skills and quality of video (High Def WOOOO). This was shot for fun and memories before Nadira left for a year. There was too much food that I had to painstakingly select the 20% pretty ones. Since I like to make a list and write and record videos, I merged all of them and here it is.

Labels: be patient., Eat, Everyone was so enthu, My bag was effing huge., new year

@ 3:57 AM

License

It's finally here. I'm still alive on the year I turn to that age where I have bee

n waiting for my entire teenage life. Not to go club, buy a cigarette nor to just taste adulthood, I am finally allowed to take up drivers license in 2015 YAY!!!!!! However, I am a Virgo so that means everyone else gets to go through it first and it drives me crazily excited to get my hands on the wheel.

But the true suzana wants to be in control of a ship like how she was with a kayak and a jetski equally as much as the strong friction on the hard ground.

On the flipside, I get to listen on my friend's positive and not so positive experiences which both comes with automatic tips and learning points.

Ps; latest YouTube struggle: WONG FU WEEKENDS. It's the end of the week, a wong fu week, it's a wong fu weekenddddddd!

Labels: A dude asked me "What will you do if aliens invade Earth?", be patient., Fun, It's not the first time i heard that question., Life is a test

Saturday, June 20, 2015 @ 3:47 PM

Public vs private

Yes, I'm aware that whatever you post online is public and is tedious to put really put down everything. But one thing I don't do, is to put this URL up on my social media descriptions nor in its content and have shared with 10 friends or less.

I don't have the answer to why my blog's name is shuddups, but one thing I do remember clearly is that I created it so that I can look back at my thoughts, language, activities, degree of lameness, what kind of pictures I took, the friends and hung out with. Unlike tumblr, blogger doesn't have the "reblog" function which makes me stick to original photos and find one that suits the post. Unlike twitter, the labels in blogger redirects me to all my previous posts. I used to create links to friends' blogs but they all died out after a few months.

And its 2015, the year I turn 18 *PARTEHHHH*. If you're around me often, you'll know that every year I get excited to be a year older so I can reach the holy number '18'. What truly gets my blood jumping is that I can read through all my letters (I keep it in a box), blogs and the posts (I have a number of them), and my diaries from 4 years old (I have about 5/6 journals?). I still wonder why did I have a diary at 4 and unbelievably curious of what I have written in it. I made the promise to myself in primary 4 where I can open everything up at the age of 18, which at that point in my life was the ideal age to be alive. In my opinion, more freedom, more money, less responsibilities.

I'm actually more nervous than excited because ever since I could think on my own, I always give myself expectations and goals.

Labels: be patient., Ramadhan suzana

Monday, June 1, 2015 @ 12:01 AM

We only have one body

The part where every excited soul is given only one body is driving me crazy. I separate these activities into different categories where I consider the following: Compulsory, Optional, Stress Relief, Education, Family, Friends, Self reward, Positive, Negative, Energy level.

For example, ODAC vs Promotional ceremony vs Unit annual camp. ODAC is physical training and they needed helpers but Im not in the main committee so I'm not obliged to help all the time eventhough they are my friends; promotional ceremony is stress free as there is no preparation or much things to do and to reward myself for going to school and enduring; unit annual camp is annual hah and definitely stressful, education of juniors and friends.

ODAC: compulsory, extremely high energy, stress relief.
PC: compulsory, low energy, stress relief, self reward.
UC: optional, extremely high energy, positive, education.

= life is a hard decision and at times you have to make decisions, and I took up the CLT course so I have to do my "job" and commit to what I signed up for.

Or you can run away by saying "I got no choice what", we all have choices.

Labels: be patient., camp, Life is a test, Mission accomplished, ncdcc, Outdoor love, Stress, You think you do but you have no idea.

Friday, April 24, 2015 @ 11:46 PM

Silent pledge

I experienced listening with my eyes and talking with my hands.

We started our silent pledge in school before we traveled around Singapore. It was one of the most eye-opening days because literally, we walked in the shoes of the hearing impaired. My first 5 minutes challenge was not the ayam penyet- because I could point to the picture to order, but the lady who took the order and said to her colleague in a mother tongue “got mouth but cannot open to use”. I guess I would get her frustration as she might see it as a form of disrespect, and I didn’t even try explaining cause I had no clue on how I should start. I walked away. So I didn’t buy drinks because the words were so high and small I couldn’t possibly point accurately. That was my first 10 minutes of silence.

I can truly empathize from watching videos without sound, trying to lip read to the stares we received on public transports. It felt like we were a walking anomaly amongst the talking.

My brain and hands coordinated the most today and it wasn't a blue day like CLEOPATRA's (our group name) colour.

I loved it. I love that silence does not limit us from talking about anything under the sun. I love that signing with a group in public does not make me feel any discomfort. I love that I fell in love with this beautiful language.

ps; I missed my heartbeat performance :( as it was the exact timing as NCDCC 10 Years Day Parade.

yes, its tiring rushing in and out of camp sacrificing a little of both, but this is Suzana being happy. Shall write more in a new post.

Labels: be patient., camp, Everyone was so enthu, exercise, Inhale love Exhale hate., Life is a test, melting, Mission accomplished, My bag was effing huge., You think you do but you have no idea.

Sunday, February 15, 2015 @ 7:47 PM

I dream.

I dream to have a peaceful life surrounded with the people I love, seeking to discover, learn and venture the world. While we all need some kind of stability in our lives, I am waiting for the day money can take me to places around the world to explore both the complexity and simplicity of different cultures. Owning my own boat to pierce through clear seas of different shades of blue and use my arm strength to paddle in a humble kayak to safe and quiet islands. Currently, I am trapped in my country with commitments which disallows me to pull away from them easily. It is a choice I made for survival for a stable standard of living. I'll get through these years, and hopefully it will not be too long of a wait as Death is hiding and I will never know when I might stumble upon him.

I dream to meet people from all walks of life, and I mean those who grew up in a completely different environment and I wish to befriend them, to know their story, to try to experience something completely new. I had a big dream to make a difference to the world and then a teacher snapped halfway by saying "I meant ambition, like your career". I did not know exactly what job I could live with the rest of my life but isn't the meaning of ambition a strong desire to do something? It is achievable in the smallest ways even back here at home. My Cinderella feet is taking tiny steps.

I dream to enrich people's lives, to empower them to empower others. To spread the love around the globe, I have to handle the fact that love rays do not always bounce back. In fact, the rays might bounce to someone else, and that's all that it matters. :)

Labels: be patient., I still believe, Inhale love Exhale hate., Life is a test, motivation, You think you do but you have no idea.

Monday, December 15, 2014 @ 4:07 PM

Priorities?

While everyone is starting to enjoy that 3 weeks freedom, my "holidays" includes exams but that's not the big deal because life is unfair to all, that's why its fair.

You may skip to next photo haha.

There is a huge change, considering there were small changes along the way, in my seriousness in studying. Of course I can differentiate being hungry for knowledge and memorizing definitions & steps to garner customers loyalty. What's the point of straining your brain for words when it will be harder to vomit it out?

I might not completely understand the background work and planning's involvement of the grading system but part of me is hoping that it's not because "it is easier to give an accurate grade". We have presentations but they are only 50% of the 15% overall grade. That is why I observe some students not willing to give up time to actually conduct "mystery shopping" activities and lie through their shopper's experience because who can be bothered doing 3hours pre-execution and real reflections? We give answers that get us the highest grade.

What we have been learning will help us climb up the highly demanded corporate ladder but exam papers are too hefty that the little projects are less important.

Maybe it's only for my course because my friends have the coolest way of getting their POA grade!

Capture It Bazaar by BZSE students

There were over 10 independent tables where students could sell any-legal-thing they want. From table cloths to flavouring of macaroons to lucky picks to photo booths, whatever transactions made were recorded and they had actual receipts which I personally found pretty cool. Their whole process including before and after sales would be recorded in the general journal. While they plan, set up and execute, what have I been doing? POA exam papers ha ha ha. *Please be worth it*

Although I went there to support two friends, I ended up buying double of what I had intended to. My babe Shazlina had used her ever-so-known-for talent that she uses to her advantage for gifts. Baking! And she has been progressing in terms of quantity, variety and creativity. She is a friend I truly admire because she is committed in doing what she deeply loves and she doesn't consider it as "work". Her part-time job might not pay her fairly according to her skills but she doesn't lament about it.

And I now have more treats to accompany me in my preparation for tomorrow's exam (which I have not started honestly). Sharing my day at the market -any place that involves a seller of a certain good or service and a buyer that has potential transaction to take place with buyers having something to offer- are obviously more important than memorizing more definitions. Hey at least I've cleared one definition out of a textbook which will be extremely useful for....... my exam grade.

Adios online non-existent friends.

Labels: be patient., I doakan YOU SAYANGS, I promised cooter i'd post this, I still believe

Wednesday, November 26, 2014 @ 5:23 PM

BCR

It's Wednesday and usually I'd end at 6pm. But today, there's a drill whereby the campus is closed and we all have to study from home. The workload is a lot more and I know I am not independent in terms of listening to lecturer's voices without seeing them moving or me sitting in a hall full of other students. I go through 3 slides and I'm off focus. What more, I'm half-lying comfortably in bed.

But what makes me slightly disappointed in my day is that its a no-climb Wednesday when I have a day off from school. I want to reach and squeeze the water out of the manmade rocks and be so light that I call pull myself up with purely my arm strength. I want to explore Krabi to see what it offers but I too have to be prepared for it.

Well I also have another dilemma where I want to go to 2 school trips and the adventure's dates is a subset of the Bacares' dates. And I really cannot choose. They both have Intention to Treat and all I have to do is sign up. Why cant I split into two halves and enjoy both trips?

Labels: be patient., camp, Life is a test, motivation, no photos :(

Wednesday, May 8, 2013 @ 10:43 PM

Barely at stage Act 2 Scene 2

Not only is this the famous balcony scene, it shows the drastic change in Juliet. Previously, she was innocent and definitely not in search for love “It is an honor I dream not of” in A1S3. Because she respects her mother, calling her “Madam” and “What is your will”, she does not like the idea of marriage and love. Furthermore, she’s barely fourteen! Come on, give her some space to think.

In this particular scene, Juliet has evolved to be mature to make her own decisions and to think carefully of the consequences. Although she is independent and daring to give her heart to her parent’s enemy, she is still unsure and insecure. Besides, they have only met in that short period of time “If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully” It used to be just cheeky romantic infatuated Romeo proving his love through metaphors and continuous compliments,

"The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars
As daylight doth a lamp; her eye in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.”

(So guys out there trying to impress literature students, quote Shakespeare)

In return, Juliet has managed to express her true feelings but is still afraid thus the audience is aware that she keeps it to herself in the soliloquy in A2S2. On the other hand, melancholy Romeo was lamenting over Rosaline. Ironic how he got over her in an instant and claims that "Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true
beauty till this night” when he set eyes on Juliet.

In A3S1, Romeo is overjoyed with Juliet’s acceptance and enters the fighting scene between Mercutio and Tybalt. He has accepted Tybalt as his own and “love thee more than thou canst devise”. Mercutio rages but ended up getting killed, under Romeo’s arms. When Mercutio falls, Romeo realizes that he has soften because of Juliet, “Thy beauty hath made me effeminate , And in my temper soften valor’s steel”. So I'm pausing here, leaving you with something to think about, Romeo is no longer bold and as impulsive as he used to. So is meeting Juliet a good or bad thing for him?

Labels: be patient., distraction, literature, motivation, study

Wednesday, May 1, 2013 @ 9:05 PM

Alive and caged.

We call it natural when chimpanzees use slender grass stalks as tools to harvest termites from a nest. We’ve seen displays of empathy, communication, corporation, intelligence in many documentaries and when you think about it, we are very similar. It’s not the big a leap. There is no excuse for harming those innocent creatures. Animals should be treated fairly and their feelings should be taken into account. Im sure many readers would agree but how far would you go to prevent animal abuse?

To start it off, you as an individual should treat animals with great care and compassion. Be a role model and you might influence others to do so as well. It warms my heart when I see random people feeding pondering stray cats at the void deck. Atleast there is hope in humanity.

There have been many unreported animal abuses as passersby neglect what they witness. If you see any suspicious acts such as puppies been kicked around like a football, don’t hesitate to call the Agri-food and Veteran Authority of Singapore (AVA). It has opened up a 24hour hotline to respond to urgent cases. Don’t worry, you would not be the only one. More than 9,500 cases of animal cruelty or related issues were reported just last year. It all starts with you.

There is also an event called the “Be Kind To Animals Week” which has been celebrated since 1915. Ofcourse you do not limit your gratitude to that particular week only. 5-18 May is the week where you become exceptionally kind to them. Just by spreading the information of this event, you can make a difference. Every small act towards creating a better world for animals matters.

Labels: be patient., Inhale love Exhale hate., You think you do but you have no idea.

Thursday, March 21, 2013 @ 8:55 PM

AED course

Before camp starts, the usual 8 of us went to HTA in full u. As we had to leave school at 12.45pm, it was a major rush for us, especially forgetting to inform our mt teachers the reason of our absence.

To make sure our uniform was in tip-top condition, we sacrificed our recess to polish our boots.

SO ANYWAY,

Advanced External Defibrillator requires CPR skills as well. While waiting for the rest to complete, we enjoyed our last moments in an air-conditioned room, sitting down, not worrying about camp. We had more than an hourKnowing cadets from other schools through courses and camps, we weren’t school-ist. Everyone conveniently tompang their wallets and phones in my bag.

One of the steps before pressing the shock button is when we had to shout, "YOU CLEAR, I CLEAR, EVERYBODY CLEAR!” hahah now tell me who didn’t do it with the accent?

15 March, Friday

Labels: be patient., camp, Everyone was so enthu, Fun, My bag was effing huge., ncdcc

Tuesday, March 12, 2013 @ 10:37 PM

Adventure finale!

Just like many other cadets, I have just taken my first step into another island which does not require passports to enter. Yes! Im referring to Pulau Ubin.

The walk to the campsite was a long journey. But it was worth it- d’uh!

A mini sea expedition while we discussed on how the ferry does not rust. There was an argument on whether it was coated with paint or did they attach a more reactive metal underneath. This is what you call pre-stress a week before science focus test. While others are most probably working theirs brain out memorizing quotes/ formulas/ facts or maybe the entire textbook, we fly, skateboard in the air, walk on strings, eat food rations.

Instead of moaning on how we are always separated from our schoolmates, we accepted the fact that we would definitely be split and infact, we got excited to make new friends for our last activity before we pass out.

The flying fox was one of my favorites evethough we felt like puking on the way up the stairs. If I’m not mistaken, we jumped off a 7-8 story. Joanne and I screamed “I LOVE NCDDDDD” all the way down. They said my facial expressions was so epic. If you’re judging me right now, you do la! hahah.

Labels: be patient., camp, Fun, melting, ncdcc, school trip

Saturday, February 23, 2013 @ 2:01 AM

To smell good or look good?

Finally got a chance to show off my dress, “Ao dai” which I bought at Saigon not long ago. That’s me trying to pull off the Vietnam traditional wear. Obviously can’t.

As you can see from the model photo I found on google, there’s a tiny hole revealing your skin at your side stomach (aka most people’s weakest link). Well, I got tickled almost the entire day hence I got too beat running around in my not-so-high heels. If I didn’t added height, I might as well sweep and mob the areas I passed.

Kakak Shahirah’s wedding. And me with my dust collecting camera, I finally remembered to take it out with me to an event. You see, before munching on briyani, ayam mask merak, kebab, this soup idk the name, cheese blueberry cake, kuih, ice ream, I ate Macdonalds for brunch. Zhi yao, and Syahindah were the only ones with me at chem class on a Saturday morning.

As you can observe, the rest of my energy was spent at this wedding with gorgeous people. The rest of the photos are published on Facebook.

ps; feel regret deep down that I did not accomplish anything related to studies the rest of the day.

Labels: be patient., Heels hurt :'), Makan, study, The magic of first love is our ignorance that can never end.

Monday, February 11, 2013 @ 4:15 PM

Primary colors

Appreciate your senses

Yellow plus blue gives you the gorgeous greenery

Red and yellow brightens our day

Blu and red adds balance to the scenery

Don’t neglect the red yellow blue

What are eyes for?

Labels: be patient., exercise, Umbrellas

Thursday, January 31, 2013 @ 11:34 PM

Motivation to run?

For the first time in 2013, I finally managed to persuade myself to run 2.4km. For those people who regularly run, getting 5 points might be nothing. But 14.01minutes seems to be a huge challenge. GAH! Ok some tips for those who want to really pass NAPFA 2.4km, good luck!

Tip #1: Start small

Start with shorter distances twice or thrice a week. Well, my teacher told me to run for 20 minutes everyday but I bargained with my body. I personally feel jogging/running for 1km twice a week is reasonable. From my bad experience today, I can tell you how horriblly wobbly your legs will feel when you have not ran for a month. Your muscles would not corporate as it’s so sudden.

Tip #2: Stamina

In relation to Tip #1, it is to improve your own stamina. It all depends on how much you discipline and prepare yourself. To be prevented are gas drinks- CocaCola, Sprite, Energy drink, Coke Diet as it affects your stamina. Although it has a ‘diet’ at the back of Coke, doe not mean it’s healthier. Yes, you can take one energy drink before the run but one is enough. What is most recommended is a balanced-diet.

Tip #3: Stretch properly

You need to be aware of which muscles you’d be using most or least. It’s best to consult a coach (PE lessons) or you can just research online! Google is our savior. I used to think stretching was senseless and couldn’t understand why there was a need to stretch. It’s like warming up your body and there’s less chances to feel pain halfway running (for me at least). I wouldn’t advice you to wake up and straight away run, tried and suffered, trust me.

Tip #4: Don’t kancheong!

Only if you’re confident that you can maintain the starting speed or get faster, then carry on. Don’t kancheong when you know you can’t maintain it, stopping is demoralizing for yourself. Keep your pace in a rhythm. What I usually do is jog while songs are played in my mind. Your mind has this magical power to naturally control your legs to synchronize with the beat of the song. It helps to distract your mind from focusing on how tired your body is and makes your run/jog more interesting.

Just in case if you don’t know what’s kancheong..

Tip #5: Drink lots of water

Ok not a lot to the extent you get bloated, but enough to sustain you for the entire run. Anyone who exercises can become dehydrated especially in hot, humid conditions (almost all day). There is a possibility of heat stroke or heat exhaustion.

OKAY, that’s it, hope I’ve helped! Jia you :)

Labels: be patient., exercise, Makan, motivation

Wednesday, January 9, 2013 @ 10:16 PM

Sec threes take over

For the first time, the 8 SNCOs weren’t in charge of anything, we were just helping. It was time for the sec threes to learn and understand how we felt when they didn’t attend cca or came late or play during serious times. As the parade square was taken up by RC, NCC and BB, we had no space to practice. So we used the area outside cd room to practice our skit. Such a pity that it rained just when we transferred all the materials down. Wrapped the man-made buildings as though it was a present. Had to extend training till 6pm due to slow progress and video-taking.

(actually Im writing this on 14th jan)

Labels: be patient., Happy shopping, motivation, ncdcc

Tuesday, October 23, 2012 @ 11:35 PM

Post exam activity: Interclass+ English Enrichment

Apparently, English enrichment involved me :( Ofcourse I felt guilty for not being there to revise yesterday. Our motion was ‘Hardworking people contribute to the society more than intelligent people’ and proposition team consisted of Adele, Christopher, Jun Hui and I, representing 3E2. Practiced at ground level where the soccer-interclass participants were gathered. Or dear sec 2 referee was slacking thus passed me his whistle.

ps; we lost both inter class and debate hahahahah

Labels: be patient., Im positive alright

Tuesday, August 2, 2016 @ 11:39 PM Double but Okay, this year I'll take a risk I promised myself it'll be good Then an opportunity was walking a brisk But its nothing that I've pursued. You see, it's all these buts They're walls that I've created Cos seriously, It'll be nuts If I tried instead of waited But, my mind was strong that day There was a but to the but I don't wanna do it but hey, Will I make the cut? Labels: be patient., I still believe, Im positive alright back to top?
Friday, April 8, 2016 @ 1:13 AM What are you looking forward to? Wrapped under my thin bedsheets, my hands escaped towards the direction of my 7 day old IPhone. I took extra caution with this new child to prove to myself that I am capable of keeping a mobile device in tip top condition. I pull down to refresh the same page every 2 seconds. There is no more slots available. Please select another schedule. Time check. 6 hours till the next lesson seems fair. Maybe I'll drop by YouTube while waiting. Alright cavetown, I choose you again. Before I pressed on the triangular button, my thumb double taps the home button and swiped to Safari. Won't hurt if I refreshed one more time right? There is no more slots available. Please select another schedule. Just one more. Refresh. Labels: adventure, be patient., Nervous., no photos :( back to top?
Sunday, October 25, 2015 @ 2:54 AM Oooooooooooooooooo To the weekends where I get to spend the entire day walking and queuing till all the blood got so tired they stayed at my feet. The long wait wasn't torturous with the company I had. And as teenagers, we can't recognize the importance of sleep thus we took our time and still cooked supper. Just in time for a 3 hour nap. Great. Good choices. Labels: adventure, be patient., exercise, Fun back to top?
Monday, August 17, 2015 @ 5:17 PM I chose happiness "Finals in two days and I chose happiness" Yes, I am very proud of my video skills and quality of video (High Def WOOOO). This was shot for fun and memories before Nadira left for a year. There was too much food that I had to painstakingly select the 20% pretty ones. Since I like to make a list and write and record videos, I merged all of them and here it is. Labels: be patient., Eat, Everyone was so enthu, My bag was effing huge., new year back to top?
@ 3:57 AM License It's finally here. I'm still alive on the year I turn to that age where I have bee n waiting for my entire teenage life. Not to go club, buy a cigarette nor to just taste adulthood, I am finally allowed to take up drivers license in 2015 YAY!!!!!! However, I am a Virgo so that means everyone else gets to go through it first and it drives me crazily excited to get my hands on the wheel. But the true suzana wants to be in control of a ship like how she was with a kayak and a jetski equally as much as the strong friction on the hard ground. On the flipside, I get to listen on my friend's positive and not so positive experiences which both comes with automatic tips and learning points. Ps; latest YouTube struggle: WONG FU WEEKENDS. It's the end of the week, a wong fu week, it's a wong fu weekenddddddd! Labels: A dude asked me "What will you do if aliens invade Earth?", be patient., Fun, It's not the first time i heard that question., Life is a test back to top?
Saturday, June 20, 2015 @ 3:47 PM Public vs private Yes, I'm aware that whatever you post online is public and is tedious to put really put down everything. But one thing I don't do, is to put this URL up on my social media descriptions nor in its content and have shared with 10 friends or less. I don't have the answer to why my blog's name is shuddups, but one thing I do remember clearly is that I created it so that I can look back at my thoughts, language, activities, degree of lameness, what kind of pictures I took, the friends and hung out with. Unlike tumblr, blogger doesn't have the "reblog" function which makes me stick to original photos and find one that suits the post. Unlike twitter, the labels in blogger redirects me to all my previous posts. I used to create links to friends' blogs but they all died out after a few months. And its 2015, the year I turn 18 *PARTEHHHH*. If you're around me often, you'll know that every year I get excited to be a year older so I can reach the holy number '18'. What truly gets my blood jumping is that I can read through all my letters (I keep it in a box), blogs and the posts (I have a number of them), and my diaries from 4 years old (I have about 5/6 journals?). I still wonder why did I have a diary at 4 and unbelievably curious of what I have written in it. I made the promise to myself in primary 4 where I can open everything up at the age of 18, which at that point in my life was the ideal age to be alive. In my opinion, more freedom, more money, less responsibilities. I'm actually more nervous than excited because ever since I could think on my own, I always give myself expectations and goals. Labels: be patient., Ramadhan suzana back to top?
Monday, June 1, 2015 @ 12:01 AM We only have one body The part where every excited soul is given only one body is driving me crazy. I separate these activities into different categories where I consider the following: Compulsory, Optional, Stress Relief, Education, Family, Friends, Self reward, Positive, Negative, Energy level. For example, ODAC vs Promotional ceremony vs Unit annual camp. ODAC is physical training and they needed helpers but Im not in the main committee so I'm not obliged to help all the time eventhough they are my friends; promotional ceremony is stress free as there is no preparation or much things to do and to reward myself for going to school and enduring; unit annual camp is annual hah and definitely stressful, education of juniors and friends. ODAC: compulsory, extremely high energy, stress relief. PC: compulsory, low energy, stress relief, self reward. UC: optional, extremely high energy, positive, education. = life is a hard decision and at times you have to make decisions, and I took up the CLT course so I have to do my "job" and commit to what I signed up for. Or you can run away by saying "I got no choice what", we all have choices. Labels: be patient., camp, Life is a test, Mission accomplished, ncdcc, Outdoor love, Stress, You think you do but you have no idea. back to top?
Friday, April 24, 2015 @ 11:46 PM Silent pledge I experienced listening with my eyes and talking with my hands. We started our silent pledge in school before we traveled around Singapore. It was one of the most eye-opening days because literally, we walked in the shoes of the hearing impaired. My first 5 minutes challenge was not the ayam penyet- because I could point to the picture to order, but the lady who took the order and said to her colleague in a mother tongue “got mouth but cannot open to use”. I guess I would get her frustration as she might see it as a form of disrespect, and I didn’t even try explaining cause I had no clue on how I should start. I walked away. So I didn’t buy drinks because the words were so high and small I couldn’t possibly point accurately. That was my first 10 minutes of silence. I can truly empathize from watching videos without sound, trying to lip read to the stares we received on public transports. It felt like we were a walking anomaly amongst the talking. My brain and hands coordinated the most today and it wasn't a blue day like CLEOPATRA's (our group name) colour. I loved it. I love that silence does not limit us from talking about anything under the sun. I love that signing with a group in public does not make me feel any discomfort. I love that I fell in love with this beautiful language. ps; I missed my heartbeat performance :( as it was the exact timing as NCDCC 10 Years Day Parade. yes, its tiring rushing in and out of camp sacrificing a little of both, but this is Suzana being happy. Shall write more in a new post. Labels: be patient., camp, Everyone was so enthu, exercise, Inhale love Exhale hate., Life is a test, melting, Mission accomplished, My bag was effing huge., You think you do but you have no idea. back to top?
Sunday, February 15, 2015 @ 7:47 PM I dream. I dream to have a peaceful life surrounded with the people I love, seeking to discover, learn and venture the world. While we all need some kind of stability in our lives, I am waiting for the day money can take me to places around the world to explore both the complexity and simplicity of different cultures. Owning my own boat to pierce through clear seas of different shades of blue and use my arm strength to paddle in a humble kayak to safe and quiet islands. Currently, I am trapped in my country with commitments which disallows me to pull away from them easily. It is a choice I made for survival for a stable standard of living. I'll get through these years, and hopefully it will not be too long of a wait as Death is hiding and I will never know when I might stumble upon him. I dream to meet people from all walks of life, and I mean those who grew up in a completely different environment and I wish to befriend them, to know their story, to try to experience something completely new. I had a big dream to make a difference to the world and then a teacher snapped halfway by saying "I meant ambition, like your career". I did not know exactly what job I could live with the rest of my life but isn't the meaning of ambition a strong desire to do something? It is achievable in the smallest ways even back here at home. My Cinderella feet is taking tiny steps. I dream to enrich people's lives, to empower them to empower others. To spread the love around the globe, I have to handle the fact that love rays do not always bounce back. In fact, the rays might bounce to someone else, and that's all that it matters. :) Labels: be patient., I still believe, Inhale love Exhale hate., Life is a test, motivation, You think you do but you have no idea. back to top?
Monday, December 15, 2014 @ 4:07 PM Priorities? While everyone is starting to enjoy that 3 weeks freedom, my "holidays" includes exams but that's not the big deal because life is unfair to all, that's why its fair. You may skip to next photo haha. There is a huge change, considering there were small changes along the way, in my seriousness in studying. Of course I can differentiate being hungry for knowledge and memorizing definitions & steps to garner customers loyalty. *What's the point of straining your brain for words when it will be harder to vomit it out?* I might not completely understand the background work and planning's involvement of the grading system but part of me is hoping that it's not because "it is easier to give an accurate grade". We have presentations but they are only 50% of the 15% overall grade. That is why I observe some students not willing to give up time to actually conduct "mystery shopping" activities and lie through their shopper's experience because who can be bothered doing 3hours pre-execution and real reflections? We give answers that get us the highest grade. What we have been learning will help us climb up the highly demanded corporate ladder but exam papers are too hefty that the little projects are less important. Maybe it's only for my course because my friends have the coolest way of getting their POA grade! Capture It Bazaar by BZSE students There were over 10 independent tables where students could sell any-legal-thing they want. From table cloths to flavouring of macaroons to lucky picks to photo booths, whatever transactions made were recorded and they had actual receipts which I personally found pretty cool. Their whole process including before and after sales would be recorded in the general journal. While they plan, set up and execute, what have I been doing? POA exam papers ha ha ha. Please be worth it Although I went there to support two friends, I ended up buying double of what I had intended to. My babe Shazlina had used her ever-so-known-for talent that she uses to her advantage for gifts. Baking! And she has been progressing in terms of quantity, variety and creativity. She is a friend I truly admire because she is committed in doing what she deeply loves and she doesn't consider it as "work". Her part-time job might not pay her fairly according to her skills but she doesn't lament about it. And I now have more treats to accompany me in my preparation for tomorrow's exam (which I have not started honestly). Sharing my day at the market -any place that involves a seller of a certain good or service and a buyer that has potential transaction to take place with buyers having something to offer- are obviously more important than memorizing more definitions. Hey at least I've cleared one definition out of a textbook which will be extremely useful for....... my exam grade. Adios online non-existent friends. Labels: be patient., I doakan YOU SAYANGS, I promised cooter i'd post this, I still believe back to top?
Wednesday, November 26, 2014 @ 5:23 PM BCR It's Wednesday and usually I'd end at 6pm. But today, there's a drill whereby the campus is closed and we all have to study from home. The workload is a lot more and I know I am not independent in terms of listening to lecturer's voices without seeing them moving or me sitting in a hall full of other students. I go through 3 slides and I'm off focus. What more, I'm half-lying comfortably in bed. But what makes me slightly disappointed in my day is that its a no-climb Wednesday when I have a day off from school. I want to reach and squeeze the water out of the manmade rocks and be so light that I call pull myself up with purely my arm strength. I want to explore Krabi to see what it offers but I too have to be prepared for it. Well I also have another dilemma where I want to go to 2 school trips and the adventure's dates is a subset of the Bacares' dates. And I really cannot choose. They both have Intention to Treat and all I have to do is sign up. Why cant I split into two halves and enjoy both trips? Labels: be patient., camp, Life is a test, motivation, no photos :( back to top?
Wednesday, May 8, 2013 @ 10:43 PM Barely at stage Act 2 Scene 2 Not only is this the famous balcony scene, it shows the drastic change in Juliet. Previously, she was innocent and definitely not in search for love “It is an honor I dream not of” in A1S3. Because she respects her mother, calling her “Madam” and “What is your will”, she does not like the idea of marriage and love. Furthermore, she’s barely fourteen! Come on, give her some space to think. In this particular scene, Juliet has evolved to be mature to make her own decisions and to think carefully of the consequences. Although she is independent and daring to give her heart to her parent’s enemy, she is still unsure and insecure. Besides, they have only met in that short period of time “If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully” It used to be just cheeky romantic infatuated Romeo proving his love through metaphors and continuous compliments, "The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars As daylight doth a lamp; her eye in heaven Would through the airy region stream so bright That birds would sing and think it were not night.” (So guys out there trying to impress literature students, quote Shakespeare) In return, Juliet has managed to express her true feelings but is still afraid thus the audience is aware that she keeps it to herself in the soliloquy in A2S2. On the other hand, melancholy Romeo was lamenting over Rosaline. Ironic how he got over her in an instant and claims that "Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night” when he set eyes on Juliet. In A3S1, Romeo is overjoyed with Juliet’s acceptance and enters the fighting scene between Mercutio and Tybalt. He has accepted Tybalt as his own and “love thee more than thou canst devise”. Mercutio rages but ended up getting killed, under Romeo’s arms. When Mercutio falls, Romeo realizes that he has soften because of Juliet, “Thy beauty hath made me effeminate , And in my temper soften valor’s steel”. So I'm pausing here, leaving you with something to think about, Romeo is no longer bold and as impulsive as he used to. So is meeting Juliet a good or bad thing for him? Labels: be patient., distraction, literature, motivation, study back to top?
Wednesday, May 1, 2013 @ 9:05 PM Alive and caged. We call it natural when chimpanzees use slender grass stalks as tools to harvest termites from a nest. We’ve seen displays of empathy, communication, corporation, intelligence in many documentaries and when you think about it, we are very similar. It’s not the big a leap. There is no excuse for harming those innocent creatures. Animals should be treated fairly and their feelings should be taken into account. Im sure many readers would agree but how far would you go to prevent animal abuse? To start it off, you as an individual should treat animals with great care and compassion. Be a role model and you might influence others to do so as well. It warms my heart when I see random people feeding pondering stray cats at the void deck. Atleast there is hope in humanity. There have been many unreported animal abuses as passersby neglect what they witness. If you see any suspicious acts such as puppies been kicked around like a football, don’t hesitate to call the Agri-food and Veteran Authority of Singapore (AVA). It has opened up a 24hour hotline to respond to urgent cases. Don’t worry, you would not be the only one. More than 9,500 cases of animal cruelty or related issues were reported just last year. It all starts with you. There is also an event called the “Be Kind To Animals Week” which has been celebrated since 1915. Ofcourse you do not limit your gratitude to that particular week only. 5-18 May is the week where you become exceptionally kind to them. Just by spreading the information of this event, you can make a difference. Every small act towards creating a better world for animals matters. Labels: be patient., Inhale love Exhale hate., You think you do but you have no idea. back to top?
Thursday, March 21, 2013 @ 8:55 PM AED course Before camp starts, the usual 8 of us went to HTA in full u. As we had to leave school at 12.45pm, it was a major rush for us, especially forgetting to inform our mt teachers the reason of our absence. To make sure our uniform was in tip-top condition, we sacrificed our recess to polish our boots. SO ANYWAY, Advanced External Defibrillator requires CPR skills as well. While waiting for the rest to complete, we enjoyed our last moments in an air-conditioned room, sitting down, not worrying about camp. We had more than an hourKnowing cadets from other schools through courses and camps, we weren’t school-ist. Everyone conveniently tompang their wallets and phones in my bag. One of the steps before pressing the shock button is when we had to shout, "YOU CLEAR, I CLEAR, EVERYBODY CLEAR!” hahah now tell me who didn’t do it with the accent? 15 March, Friday Labels: be patient., camp, Everyone was so enthu, Fun, My bag was effing huge., ncdcc back to top?
Tuesday, March 12, 2013 @ 10:37 PM Adventure finale! Just like many other cadets, I have just taken my first step into another island which does not require passports to enter. Yes! Im referring to Pulau Ubin. The walk to the campsite was a long journey. But it was worth it- d’uh! A mini sea expedition while we discussed on how the ferry does not rust. There was an argument on whether it was coated with paint or did they attach a more reactive metal underneath. This is what you call pre-stress a week before science focus test. While others are most probably working theirs brain out memorizing quotes/ formulas/ facts or maybe the entire textbook, we fly, skateboard in the air, walk on strings, eat food rations. Instead of moaning on how we are always separated from our schoolmates, we accepted the fact that we would definitely be split and infact, we got excited to make new friends for our last activity before we pass out. The flying fox was one of my favorites evethough we felt like puking on the way up the stairs. If I’m not mistaken, we jumped off a 7-8 story. Joanne and I screamed “I LOVE NCDDDDD” all the way down. They said my facial expressions was so epic. If you’re judging me right now, you do la! hahah. Labels: be patient., camp, Fun, melting, ncdcc, school trip back to top?
Saturday, February 23, 2013 @ 2:01 AM To smell good or look good? Finally got a chance to show off my dress, “Ao dai” which I bought at Saigon not long ago. That’s me trying to pull off the Vietnam traditional wear. Obviously can’t. As you can see from the model photo I found on google, there’s a tiny hole revealing your skin at your side stomach (aka most people’s weakest link). Well, I got tickled almost the entire day hence I got too beat running around in my not-so-high heels. If I didn’t added height, I might as well sweep and mob the areas I passed. Kakak Shahirah’s wedding. And me with my dust collecting camera, I finally remembered to take it out with me to an event. You see, before munching on briyani, ayam mask merak, kebab, this soup idk the name, cheese blueberry cake, kuih, ice ream, I ate Macdonalds for brunch. Zhi yao, and Syahindah were the only ones with me at chem class on a Saturday morning. As you can observe, the rest of my energy was spent at this wedding with gorgeous people. The rest of the photos are published on Facebook. ps; feel regret deep down that I did not accomplish anything related to studies the rest of the day. Labels: be patient., Heels hurt :'), Makan, study, The magic of first love is our ignorance that can never end. back to top?
Monday, February 11, 2013 @ 4:15 PM Primary colors Appreciate your senses Yellow plus blue gives you the gorgeous greenery Red and yellow brightens our day Blu and red adds balance to the scenery Don’t neglect the red yellow blue What are eyes for? Labels: be patient., exercise, Umbrellas back to top?
Thursday, January 31, 2013 @ 11:34 PM Motivation to run? For the first time in 2013, I finally managed to persuade myself to run 2.4km. For those people who regularly run, getting 5 points might be nothing. But 14.01minutes seems to be a huge challenge. GAH! Ok some tips for those who want to really pass NAPFA 2.4km, good luck! Tip #1: Start small Start with shorter distances twice or thrice a week. Well, my teacher told me to run for 20 minutes everyday but I bargained with my body. I personally feel jogging/running for 1km twice a week is reasonable. From my bad experience today, I can tell you how horriblly wobbly your legs will feel when you have not ran for a month. Your muscles would not corporate as it’s so sudden. Tip #2: Stamina In relation to Tip #1, it is to improve your own stamina. It all depends on how much you discipline and prepare yourself. To be prevented are gas drinks- CocaCola, Sprite, Energy drink, Coke Diet as it affects your stamina. Although it has a ‘diet’ at the back of Coke, doe not mean it’s healthier. Yes, you can take one energy drink before the run but one is enough. What is most recommended is a balanced-diet. Tip #3: Stretch properly You need to be aware of which muscles you’d be using most or least. It’s best to consult a coach (PE lessons) or you can just research online! Google is our savior. I used to think stretching was senseless and couldn’t understand why there was a need to stretch. It’s like warming up your body and there’s less chances to feel pain halfway running (for me at least). I wouldn’t advice you to wake up and straight away run, tried and suffered, trust me. Tip #4: Don’t kancheong! Only if you’re confident that you can maintain the starting speed or get faster, then carry on. Don’t kancheong when you know you can’t maintain it, stopping is demoralizing for yourself. Keep your pace in a rhythm. What I usually do is jog while songs are played in my mind. Your mind has this magical power to naturally control your legs to synchronize with the beat of the song. It helps to distract your mind from focusing on how tired your body is and makes your run/jog more interesting. Just in case if you don’t know what’s kancheong.. Tip #5: Drink lots of water Ok not a lot to the extent you get bloated, but enough to sustain you for the entire run. Anyone who exercises can become dehydrated especially in hot, humid conditions (almost all day). There is a possibility of heat stroke or heat exhaustion. OKAY, that’s it, hope I’ve helped! Jia you :) Labels: be patient., exercise, Makan, motivation back to top?
Wednesday, January 9, 2013 @ 10:16 PM Sec threes take over For the first time, the 8 SNCOs weren’t in charge of anything, we were just helping. It was time for the sec threes to learn and understand how we felt when they didn’t attend cca or came late or play during serious times. As the parade square was taken up by RC, NCC and BB, we had no space to practice. So we used the area outside cd room to practice our skit. Such a pity that it rained just when we transferred all the materials down. Wrapped the man-made buildings as though it was a present. Had to extend training till 6pm due to slow progress and video-taking. (actually Im writing this on 14th jan) Labels: be patient., Happy shopping, motivation, ncdcc back to top?
Tuesday, October 23, 2012 @ 11:35 PM Post exam activity: Interclass+ English Enrichment Apparently, English enrichment involved me :( Ofcourse I felt guilty for not being there to revise yesterday. Our motion was ‘Hardworking people contribute to the society more than intelligent people’ and proposition team consisted of Adele, Christopher, Jun Hui and I, representing 3E2. Practiced at ground level where the soccer-interclass participants were gathered. Or dear sec 2 referee was slacking thus passed me his whistle. ps; we lost both inter class and debate hahahahah Labels: be patient., Im positive alright back to top?